Holy Crap, I'm Having a Baby

I've known about the impending arrival of my daughter since late November. However, it hadn't really sunk in that I was actually going to be a mother, it just felt like a dream or like I was making it up.

I assumed it would get real when I started to feel her kick. Nope.

I thought it would feel real when we saw her ultrasound pictures. Nuh-uh.

I figured it would seem real when I started to show and people asked me about it. Nada.

I guessed it would be real when we picked a name. Nothing.

Seven months pregnant and it still didn't feel real. I thought I was nuts. Finally, last night, it got real. All it took was this:

There's nothing better in this world that having an internal panic attack in the middle of Babies'R'Us. That store scared the crap out of me. Thank goodness for the Prozac keeping me calm and normal or I'd have started bawling and had an "I can't take care of my baby" spaz right there in the middle of the store.

I'm not sure why it was the car seat that made it so real. We've had baby clothes for weeks, a swing, and lots of other little things, but they didn't do it. The car seat did. I stood there and stared at it for a minute and all I could say was "Holy crap. I'm having a baby." The reality of it is wearing off again, and it seems like it's happening to someone else, but every time I pass by that little orange car seat sitting in my kitchen, I know it's really me having the baby.

Kelly says he's already had his "holy crap, we're having a baby" moment and has moved on. I don't think he has yet. I don't think it's really going to sink in for either of us until we're in the hospital with her.

I'm just afraid we won't be ready.